Help - I am on the edge!!

sarahwilson Registered Posts: 567 Epic contributor 🐘
Sorry this is a bit of a rambly one but I really need to get this off my chest and try sort it out.I have mentioned it before but I'm not getting anywhere and would appreciate you guys input.

I work in an accounts dept at a small firm, just me and the bosses wife. From the offset the intention on both sides has always been me to move into her shoes as she want to leave and get a junior in to assist me. Due to her personal circumstances last June (I'd been here 8 months by then) we ended up getting an AAT qualified from our accountants to take over the finishing up of the month end, VAT return production of management accounts etc. Prior to this my line manager had always done this and despite saying she would teach me how to do it, her quite frankly haphazard way of working meant she never got round to it.

My problem is I have raised the subject a couple of times most recently this week that we are paying for someone to come in and do something that previously was done in house and that could be shown to me by the AAT that comes in with a view to getting rid of the expenditure. This week I was told that for her piece of mind she'd rather that the AAT lady came in.

Shes also told me this week she wants to start making moves towards exiting her employment here and step back from stuff. Great I thought, I currently do all the sales and purchase ledgers, credit control, bank reconciliations, adhoc admin and produce various reports for other staff for monthly meetings, maybe shes going to show me the month end stuff.

Oh no, shes going to take the banking and purchase ledger off me and give me nothing in their place. Now I don't want to sound big headed but I've got my routine now so I can manage the everyday work and deal with a "project" comfortably. I am currently doing risk assessments for our units and have at least an hour and a half a day to do them, so I'm not exactly mowed out.

I really don't want her to get back involved in the day to day stuff, I've got it all in hand so much so I phoned our AAT to tell her she can come in a week early to do month end. When she was involved we were lucky to be ready for her arrival and on occasions we had tears over it.The atmosphere in here was terrible and she snapped at people for asking her to do things because in her words she was really busy.

How do I deal with this, I'm not progressing here how I was supposed to when I started if anything I'll be going backwards because I know full well I'll get more admin crap thrown at me to do.

I don't want to leave here and I don't want to be seen as someone who won't do stuff to help out, I more than happily will. I just feel like I keep getting to a point where I can take on her role and then she gets cold feet and throws a fictitious spanner in the works.

Help me before I do something rash!!!


  • JJ43
    JJ43 Registered Posts: 50 Regular contributor ⭐

    Yes, I have seen your previous post, some time ago about this problem. By the sounds of it, the problem ie: bosses wife - has only got worse. From what you say, she is undoubtly a control freak and I doubt whether your situation will get any better.

    There are two clear paths, either - sorry to say this but, reconcile the fact that this is how your boss wants things done or start looking around for a company that will appreciate you and your skills more. I know this is no help to you at the moment but, bide your time and look around, take whatever you can from your current position in terms of gaining experience.

    I was in a similar position almost a year ago, in the end I realised my health was more important because I used to be physically sick at the thoughts of going into work. I set about looking elsewhere and got out of it. Easier said than done given the current climate, but if you need to weigh things up.

    Is your boss the approachable type or will he ultimately come down on his wifes side ?

    Hopefully you are off for the Easter, in which case try to forget about work, relax and plan your future.

    PAMDILL Registered Posts: 721 Epic contributor 🐘
    That is an awful awkward position to be in. Is it worth sitting down with the boss and the wife and ask them what their plans are with your job. You have not said who she has given the banking and purchase ledger to? Is it the AAT person?

    It might be worth pointing out how much extra cash they would be saviing with you doing it instead of them if it is. Always worth pointing out cash benefits.

    Either that or suggest if they do still want the AAT person to come in that the hours could be reduced if they show you how to do it and they just check it over (that would counter the piece of mind arguement).

    Can't suggest anytihing else except throwing a strop but that won't get you anywhere!!
  • sarahwilson
    sarahwilson Registered Posts: 567 Epic contributor 🐘
    Shes taking the banking and purchase ledger off me to do herself, which is rather confusing!

    They did move someone aside to give me my job, they decided without asking them that they were not up to taking over the department, something which caused annoyance to them at the time but they now agree with.

    I am more qualified than the bosses wife but I suspect she is nervous about not having ultimate control, you cant have it both ways. If you don't want to work here don't but you can't expect to know everything whilst you are backing off.

    God its annoying!!
  • sarahwilson
    sarahwilson Registered Posts: 567 Epic contributor 🐘
    I'm not sure whose side he would come down on, ultimately its his wife but do you allow wastage of money and resources to keep t'wife happy especially in these difficult times?

    The AAT only does 4 hours a month to do month end so to my mind its either get rid or keep her. She used to be here for a full day when she first came.
  • SeanyBoy
    SeanyBoy Registered Posts: 553 Epic contributor 🐘
    i guess the main thing to remember is that bottling up your frustration will do you no favours. I think that perhaps you should approach your boss and his wife and make it clear to them exactly how you feel..

    I think your employer would respect you more if you show ambition and a willingness to take on more resposibility.

    I agree with previous posts that the bosses wife is a bit of a control freak but i also imagine that she also feels a personal connection to the company (assuming your boss owns the company) so from this point of view perhaps she wants to keep an eye over things to ensure its all running smoothly.

    As i said perhaps they need some reassurance and the only way they will get that is by showing them.. which is why they need to give you the opportunity to show them.

    Maybe suggest to the wife that you will keep her posted with everything that you are doing (should they give you the chance to prove yourself) so she can keep an eye on everything until she is confident that you are competent enough to manage everything unaided.

    I hope this isnt too much waffle and wish you all the best.

    Good luck :thumbup:
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