Ummm...

CJC

Now either this site is a work of extended comic genius like no other or the man is a mentalist of truly epic proportions. Either way, it may be the funniest site I've ever seen on teh interwebs.

Kudos to the good folks at SpEak You're bRanes for finding this.

Jan

With practice, I am able to render the patients unconscious for only thirty seconds.

I wonder how long he practiced for?

CJC

Here's his method for bringing the dead back to life - I wonder if St John's Ambulance knows about this?

The Kadir-Buxton Jumpstart – First, it must be ascertained that the heart of the patient has stopped beating.

Next, the edge of the shoed, or bare, foot must be brought down hard on the chest just above the heart.(Ribs can be broken with this method) The pain is so intense that it reaches parts of the brain which have not fully shut down, and this revives the patient.

Finally, the patient should be taken to hospital as soon as possible as there is a reason for them dying in the first place, which should be treated.

His contributions to gynaecology are probably best left for people to discover for themselves.

marknotgeorge

After reading the mental health cure, I was vaguely worried about what the fertility cure was, and which part of the body he'd hit.

But fear not - it's female infertility he's curing. Via a damn good fisting.

CJC

That could possibly be the first ever use of the word 'fisting' in an accountancy-based forum :huh:

marknotgeorge

You mean mark90210 never used it in a spelling mistake?

/Searches.....

You're right. First for this forum, anyway. I dunno about those wierdos on accountancystudents...