Thanking people

coojee

You know when you meet someone in real life and they help you with something do you:
a) say thank you, or
b) think ah, that's the answer, and then walk away without saying anything to them?

I think most of us would say a) wouldn't you?

Why is it then when you help someone on the internet they invariably don't bother to thank you? It's really bugging me now the number of times I try to help people on this forum and they don't even bother to press the thank you button. Once or twice I could put down to people just not checking back to see if there's been any replies but it happens about 95% of the time now. I'm beginning to wonder I give up my time to try to help if no one's interested.

Is it just me? Am I being old fashioned expecting people to say thank you?

*Jo

I think to be honest the "thanks" button is just there incase people feel that way inclined. Yes good manners cost nothing and its nice to be appreciated but this isn't the same as a face to face meeting with someone.
I wouldn't let it get you down, try to help people for the same reason many other people help out on here which is to give something back for all the times they have found something that helped them previously. As in Christmas, you should never give to receive so don't let it get you down.

James Patterson

I know what you mean, i say thank you when people help me and most of the time people say thankyou, i suppose if people get carried away with other peoples responses they may bipass your help, but people will still benefit and appreciate it indirectly if anything.

I've said thanks plenty of times, manners are scarce nowadays i think haha

coojee

Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing it to be thanked, it's just an indication that someone has actually read the post. It feels like I'm giving the help and no one's listening. To continue with your analogy, it's like thanking someone who's posted you a present, by thanking them they know that the present has arrived safely. If you don't thank them then they don't know whether it's arrived. It's not necessarily about the thanks it's about letting them know that they've got it. IYSWIM

Whirlwind

Hi,

I usually add a thread to say thank you - its only just recently I have discovered the 'thanks' button!! Oops!!

coojee

My other half told me a funny (only slightly funny) story about thanking people. He was having an e mail conversation with some Canadians recently who sent him some information that he needed and he replied with "Ta" they replied to say "That's fine but what does Ta mean?" he told them that it's short for Thank You and they replied to say "Ta". Well it made me smile anyway :001_smile:

jenny3549

Whirlwind wrote: »

Hi,

I usually add a thread to say thank you - its only just recently I have discovered the 'thanks' button!! Oops!!

Me too! The thanks button hasn't been there all that long so I think some people still don't know it's available.

Totally agree though Coojee - I have always posted to say thanks to everyone who has helped (even if it means posting 2 or three times as people add things!).

Personally, if I asked a question I would always post a separate thank you. I only think of the 'thanks' button if I'm reading someone else's post and think the answer is really good. Although, even then I do forget about the thanks button.

anniem

Yep, a quick thanks doesn't cost a lot, does it!

(Mind you I'm the person who always says thanks to the cashpoint machine ....... lol ....... I've been wanting the banks to offer a 'thank you button' at cashpoints for years!!!!!!!)

amurray

a) Indeed - Manners cost nothing! :001_smile:

blobbyh

coojee wrote: »

Is it just me? Am I being old fashioned expecting people to say thank you?

a) No, it's not just you
... and...
b) Yes, you/we probably are old fashioned (by repeating the same sayings our own parents once said!)

I even feel old for saying this but I do believe that good manners are getting much thinner on the ground with every passing generation. My conspiracy theory is that the younger amongst us are feeling more and more entitled to being served by others and becoming less grateful for it. Of course this is a rod we've made for our own backs. We want our kids to have the best of everything without the struggle that we may have ourselves once experienced but the flip side is they're also less inclined to strive for things themeslves if they're used to being handed them on a plate. We also tell our kids they're better and smarter than anything that came before them - and here I'm thinking of dumbed down school exams (and for any school teachers who may be reading this, I simply don't believe your counter-claims that they're as hard as they always were) - so why should they respect us if some of them might think we're not their equals?

I'm not necessarily speaking about younger people on this forum since those here are generally better educated than the rest of their generation though that doesn't mean educated people can't also be pig ignorant!

As for this forum, there are a couple - most notably geek84 - who don't always say thank you or close off threads thus leaving respondants feeling they've wasted their time.

coojee

blobbyh wrote: »

a) No, it's not just you
... and...
b) Yes, you/we probably are old fashioned (by repeating the same sayings our own parents once said!)

I even feel old for saying this but I do believe that good manners are getting much thinner on the ground with every passing generation. My conspiracy theory is that the younger amongst us are feeling more and more entitled to being served by others and becoming less grateful for it. Of course this is a rod we've made for our own backs. We want our kids to have the best of everything without the struggle that we may have ourselves once experienced but the flip side is they're also less inclined to strive for things themeslves if they're used to being handed them on a plate. We also tell our kids they're better and smarter than anything that came before them - and here I'm thinking of dumbed down school exams (and for any school teachers who may be reading this, I simply don't believe your counter-claims that they're as hard as they always were) - so why should they respect us if some of them might think we're not their equals?

I'm not necessarily speaking about younger people on this forum since those here are generally better educated than the rest of their generation though that doesn't mean educated people can't also be pig ignorant!

As for this forum, there are a couple - most notably geek84 - who don't always say thank you or close off threads thus leaving respondants feeling they've wasted their time.

Exactly my thoughts. I understand what my Granny meant now when she used to say that she was glad she was old. She was glad that she didn't have many years left of having to endure what the country/people had become. I despair sometimes when I see the every man for himself attitude that prevails at the moment.

James Patterson

I agree with you blobby, as i said previously i think manners are becoming scarce and evidently in the younger generations which i guess the same morals/manners aren't taught to anymore.

Although that does seem quite common i like to think there are still people out there with common decency and manners in the younger generations (myself included).

There's still hope, right?

coojee

James Patterson wrote: »

I agree with you blobby, as i said previously i think manners are becoming scarce and evidently in the younger generations which i guess the same morals/manners aren't taught to anymore.

Although that does seem quite common i like to think there are still people out there with common decency and manners in the younger generations (myself included).

There's still hope, right?

I hope so James, I really do.