What do you think Ladies??

System
System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
edited June 8 in Student general
Sorry everyone, I'm new to this and want to make an entrance so to speak, don't have a sweeping staircase so here goes. This is for the Ladies to comment on:

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up
there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can
tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make
some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

ยซ134

Comments

  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    Well, I think the Ladies will welcome you to this Forum! You talk our kind of language.

    :wink:

    Helen

  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Thanks Helen, I was in two minds whether to do it or not and I hit the submit button instead of preview, oops, told you I was new. Tut.
    Andrea
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    You can always edit your posts - especially if it's a real clanger.

    Look forward to reading some more of your gems!

    :shock:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    So do I...

    ... I love women's anti-men jokes since it only demonstrates to us men the inferiority complexes you clearly all hold!

    Q; Why do you think we don't have any equivalents?
    A; 'Cos we're not that bothered!

    Keep repeating to yourselves...

    We are superior!

    We are superior!

    We are superior!

    ... ad nauseum...

    Robert
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    Sorry mate - I thought it was funny. Never understood blokes that can't have a laugh - with us, not against us!

    :cry:

  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Didn't post it to be anti-men or anything. I received in an e-mail from my friends and at the bottom it said send it to a "few good men" too, I quite happily receive jokes about women and them being all of the teletubbies rolled into one - (except for poo that is.)and I did ask for comments from other ladies.
    Ok, I get the message.
    Andrea
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Hi Andrea,
    I got this one too, must be doing the rounds. :lol: This forum does get a bit sensitive and sense of humour does disappear once in a while, never mind, we all have things we like and don't like. :roll:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    I think that one of our greatest gifts is our sense of humour - and the ability to laugh at ourselves.

    I love jokes about women not being able to reverse - 'cos in my case it's true!

    It's unlikely that all anti-men jokes are directed at you personally, Robert - although I may be wrong!

    :wink:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    you beet me to it. you cant beat a good joke.
    does anyone like the blonde jokes that sarah kennedy tells on radio 2? she's blone and it doensnt matter to her - in fact it makes them funnier.

    most of them involve blonde women drivers - priceless!

    Cleo
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    I think most of those are fair comment.

    There's only one thing worse than a male chauvinist pig; ...

    ... a woman that won't do as she's told.

    (Sorry, couldn't resist)
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    Morning Graham - brave man!

    :oops:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    My favourite joke is when a man and a women are driving along and they have had a blazing row, they pass a farm and the women says to the man, indicating to the animals on the farm "relatives of yours?". The man calmly says "Yes, the in-laws" :lol: Priceless...
    Morning Graham, had any creme eggs yet?
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    It was a bit risky to try on here, I can usually get away with it in real life because its so far from how I actually think and act.

    How about if I temper it with this lesson on the importance of proper punctuation? (I put this on Study Buddy a while back)

    A woman without her man is nothing
    can be read as
    A woman, without her man, is nothing.
    or
    A woman; without her, man is nothing.
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    Shall we vote on it?

    :lol:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    W: ashing
    I: roning
    F: too rude for this forum
    E: tc

    THE WIFE FROM HELL:

    Man and woman in car on a 40 mph road, suddenly they see flashing lights and they are pulled over to the side of the road. Already seething from constant nagging from his missus he winds the window down and shouts "WHAT HAVE I DONE" to the officer.
    Sir, you were driving at 60mph in a 40mph zone, i'm going to have to give you a ticket. The man denies he was doing 60 and says the officers radar gun must be wrong, his wife says "No darling, I told you to slow down and that we were going too fast"... "SHUT UP WOMAN" shouted the man.
    "I notice you're not wearing a seatbelt too sir" said the officer, that's another fine "I WAS wearing it, I just took it off when you pulled me over" replied the man - his wife said "I always tell him to wear his seatbelt but he never does"... "FOR CHRIST SAKE WOMAN - SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH".
    "Is that mobile phone switched on sir, have you been talking during your journey?"
    "NO, No I haven't" replied the man.. "Your brother called a few minutes ago dear, do you not remember talking to him telling him about our anniversary break?".... "JESUS CHRIST YOU STUPID WOMAN - SHUT UP OR ELSE!!!"
    "Excuse me Miss" said the officer, "Does your husband always talk to you like this"
    The husband looked worried and then suicidal when his wife said "No officer"..... "Only when he's been drinking"
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    Very funny.

    :lol:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??
    Baggybooks wrote:
    It's unlikely that all anti-men jokes are directed at you personally, Robert - although I may be wrong!

    What on earth made you all think I was offended by the first post? I'm not that sensitive - it takes a bit more than that to pee me off!

    Odd that so many posts implied I lack humour when you all seem to have missed the humour in my own (and don't blame the lack of smileys either!). Read it back - does it look serious?

    :evil:

    Robert
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    Ha Ha

    :cry:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Do I hear the sound of toys being thrown out of prams?

    Claudia
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Not at all Claudia but I think you need to read back through the thread to try and understand the point I was making...

    ... both you and Helen should know from our friendly banter last week on the Gender Pay thread that I have quite a rich and dark sense of humour at times rather than lacking one altogether.

    Robert
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    Maybe if you had a photo of you smiling, that might help?

    We can't help but be influenced by what you post, mixed with the photo of you looking...well - grumpy.
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Robert - that wasn't a dig at you - it was a facetious comment that people were getting uppity in general.

    Helen - I disagree - I think that Robert looks thoughtful rather than grumpy in his picture.

    C'mon guys help me out now. I went to see a potential new client yesterday. They phoned last night saying they wanted me to go to their offices a day a week, and having thought about it, I don't want to do it - lots of reasons. Problem is I hate turning work away, and they are really nice people that I know anyway. How do I say no nicely? And still be able to talk to them in the street every day???

    Claudia
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??
    claudialowe wrote:
    I think that Robert looks thoughtful rather than grumpy in his picture.
    I think he's busy being thoughtful about being grumpy.

    Why not say you have to decline because you have to be in your own office for your other clients?
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Fantastic 19051984!! :lol:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??
    Baggybooks wrote:
    Maybe if you had a photo of you smiling, that might help?
    What makes you think I'm not Helen? I rarely smile anyway, unless I see something outrageously funny - like people slipping over on ice, falling off ladders - that sort of thing...

    Thanks Claudia - just pondering what the next step on from a leg breaking is...

    Oh and for the work problem. Don't you live in Norfolk 'cos the accountants for Bernard Matthews might be available soon...?

    Robert

  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Bernard Matthews main factory and big 'ouse is about 1/4 mile from me..... not the most popular people around here at the best of times!

    Claudia
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??
    blobbyh wrote:
    What makes you think I'm not Helen?

    Dunno - just that little glint of something in your eye - looks like anger to me. Are you casting your eye over the CCTV - checking on your PPE stocks?

    Can't we have a smiling Blobby? Just for a day or two, please?
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Oh - do we have a grammar problem here Robert?

    Surely it should be "What makes you think I'm not, Helen?"

    Otherwise it sounds as though you are Helen... which I assume that you are not :shock:

    Claudia
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??


    Damn - rumbled!
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:What do you think Ladies??

    Don't worry about it Helen or Helen - I often talk to myself, it is quite normal.....

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