Just for Laughs

System
System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
edited June 8 in Student general
I had a car crash the other day. A car pulled out in front of me. It was one of those new Skodas. There was sponge, cream and icing everywhere!

At the sake of repeating myself this message was posted on the worng forum. Now it is in the right place none of the bookworms can complain.
ยซ1

Comments

  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs


    Did anyone complain apart from it being an awful joke?!

    You could have asked the administrators to move it but I think they're busy clearing the things away from their desks...

    ... in preparation of their imminent move of course, not for any valid other reason I'm sure we can all think of...
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    JOKE!

    An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
    She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude". With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolledthe dice and excitedly yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed.."YES, YES, I WON, I WON!"

    She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared ateach other dumb founded.Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

    MORAL OF THE STORY Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb,

    but all men, are men.
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    :lol:

    I like that one
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    Me too, my work collegue sent it me this morning. To be honest I wasnt sure if I should have posted it with all thats gone on here lately, but I had an overwhelming need to share! :)
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    ukGiants wrote:
    To be honest I wasnt sure if I should have posted it with all thats gone on here lately, but I had an overwhelming need to share! :)
    Why? You didn't use extreme profanity and anyway, we all need a laugh considering what's going on in the outside world.

    I think several people overreacted to what happened a few weeks ago - on both sides - myself included. I wrote a long post shortly afterwards, explaining my thoughts at the time and have since moved on from it. I'm certainly not abandoning the Forums in a rash fit of temper because one or two people might not like what I write! Besides, it wouldn't quite be me if I toned myself down so much that I became unrecognisable! If that ever happens, I wouldn't just leave, I'd bloody well shoot myself...
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs
    blobbyh wrote:
    If that ever happens, I wouldn't just leave, I'd bloody well shoot myself...
    quick - pass me the bullets
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    LOL!
    Dont you worry Mr B. We don't take you seriously. You are joking when you post this stuff, aren't you? Arent you?


  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    blobbyh wrote:
    If that ever happens, I wouldn't just leave, I'd bloody well shoot myself...
    Richard1988 wrote:
    quick - pass me the bullets
    Nice one, Richard...
    Sara81 wrote:
    LOL! Dont you worry Mr B. We don't take you seriously. You are joking when you post this stuff, aren't you? Arent you?
    Most of the time, yes. I admit to having a naughty streak in me since much of what I write/have written has been very firmly tongue in cheek albeit in a deliberately controversial but mischievous manner to see what happens and/or who I can provoke...

    On the other hand, one of my main philosophies on here has been that although kind words have their time and place, so do harsh ones and I'm not going to pander to people with weakness when it's really a reality check they need.

    Robert
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    LOL!

  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    tough love hey blobbyh? i don't pander either - more of a grizzly, me!

  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    Thing is though, I've read stuff by both you guys and sometimes you just sound mean.
    We're mainly all students on here and being blunt can come across as being mean.
    I know some of the questions are sometimes a bit daft, but I think thats more to do with how they've been asked - not the factual content.
    I've only been doing this for a couple of years and need help not 'tough love' Richard.
    Iknow you were joking on here, but maybe we should respect students for being brave enough to ask?

    Sorry - none of that was 'just for laughs' just had an awful half hour with my boss.
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs


    EDIT; I've just accidentally deleted everything I wrote here but it was more typical blobbyh stuff that might have made half of you smile and the other half furious!
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    just sent you a pm, sara.
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs
    blobbyh wrote:
    EDIT; I've just accidentally deleted everything I wrote here but it was more typical blobbyh stuff that might have made half of you smile and the other half furious!
    I read it before it was deleted. Maybe you should ask for help on how not to delete stuff?
    LOL :lol:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs
    blobbyh wrote:
    made half of you smile and the other half furious!
    Half smiled, half were furious and the other half just felt sorry for you mate. Yeah - know it doesnt add up, but we havent been taught percentages yet.
    lol.

    Sara - thank you sweetie.
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    You're welcome!
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    any time you fancy a bearhug - you have the add!
    :wink:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    Have any of the girls been offered 'bearhugs' by Richard? PM me if you have - I think he's a tart!
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    LOL! What can i say? i have enought huggles for you all!
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    That's what were worrying about!
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    one thing worse than being talked about and that's not being talked about!
    so, sara, katie, amy, suzi and jodie - it's been great. :lol:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    :evil:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    A joke I received in an email today from a friend at work. Thought I'd share.



    After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him "This must all be in your mind" and refers him to a psychiatrist.

    After a few visits to the psychiatrist, the shrink confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." He refers the man to a Cajun witch doctor.

    The witch doctor says, "I can cure this." He throws some powder on a flame and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witch doctor says,"This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

    The guy then asks the witch doctor, "What happens when it's over?" The witch doctor says, "All you or your partner have to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned, after that, it will not work again for another year!"

    The guy goes home, and that night he is so excited and eager to surprise his wife, he can't wait to go to bed. They get in bed and he says, "123", and just like magic, he gets an erection.

    His wife promptly turns over and says, "What did you say '123' for?"
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    LOL!
    :lol:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    Good afternoon people, received this from a colleague today.


    The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.

    He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing
    one
    half in front of his wife.

    He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two
    piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

    He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup
    down
    between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people
    around them were looking over and whispering.

    Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can
    afford
    is one meal for the two of them.'

    As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and
    politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man
    said,
    they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.

    People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a
    bite.
    She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns
    sipping the drink.

    Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another
    meal
    for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to
    sharing everything.'

    Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the
    napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet
    to
    eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'

    She answered

    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >'THE TEETH.'
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs


    Very good.

    :lol:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    very good but gross, kinda taking sharing to a whole new level :lol:
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs


    Just got this through by e-mail;

    A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

    Karl said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying chickens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."

    "What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.

    "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

    "Very good," said the teacher.

    Next little Emilie raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too.

    But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks and so the moral to this story is: 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'."

    "That was a fine story Emilie. Mick, do you have a story to share?"

    "Yes. My dad told me this story about my Aunty Sue. Aunty Sue was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was 3 bottles of rum, a machine gun and a machete. She drank all the rum on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

    "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your father tell you from that horrible story?"

    "Stay the f*** away from Aunty Sue when she's been on the p**s."

    Class!
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    Very Good, Robert
  • System
    System Posts: 100,537 ๐Ÿค– Admin ๐Ÿค–
    Re:Just for Laughs

    Cheers Blobbyh, it gave me a chuckle.

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