Is this bullying?

speegsspeegs Experienced MentorPosts: 854Registered
Where I work there is a girl who I don't get on with.

It all started when one day she came storming into my office screaming at me for not answering the main office phone. I explained to her that the main office did not ring in my room and I did not even here it from my office, which is in a separate part of the building to were the phone rings.

Now this girl works in the office where the main office phone rings and that particular day she was working on her own (due to other staff absence). So I offered to go and work from her office in order that I assist her. She declined my offer, so I stayed put where I was.

Later that day she came in again screaming about "was I deliberately trying to get her sacked" and that I was an "b**tch". I explained that I did not know what she meant, but it turned out that my manager, who had witnessed the whole original incident, and had reported this the girls manager.

There had been other petty incidents prior to this that my manager had also complained about.

So, that's it. You now know what started this off.

Now I am a person who forgives and forgets and I do not hold grudges and since this all kicked off I have always been civil with the girl, but she has done the following:

1) Spat at me.

2) Thrown mud over my car.

3) Arrange company nights out, but deliberately missed my name off of the email regarding them.

4) Arrange two Xmas parties and deliberately missed my name off of the email regarding them.

5) She does not place the post on my desk each, but makes a conscious effort to slam it down as hard a possible.

6) Regularly, verbally abuses me, IN FRONT OF MANAGEMENT.

7) I saw her pick up my tea cup and throw it down hard on to the office's kitchen floor to break.

8) Things have misteriously gone missing from my desk (although I cannot prove that it is her taking the stuff).

The problem is that she gets on really well with her manager, who is also the Company Secretary so is senior management and the HR Manager (all rolled into one), and her manager does not want to "get involved".

Does anyone else think this is bullying?

Has anyone got any ideas on how I should deal with this matter.

She is also generally rude to other people in the office, who are not in her little 'group' of cronnies.

I wouldn't mind so much except that I have been with the company far longer than she has and I feel like I am being deliberately pushed out by her.

Is she bullying me or am I just being over sensitive?

Speegs
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Comments

  • peugeotpeugeot Experienced Mentor Posts: 624Registered
    That is awful and no-one should put up with being treated like that. This is bullying of the highest order and you need to do something about this quickly before it spirals totally out of control.

    This woman is making your life a misery. You need to make a formal complaint about this woman and follow it through to the end - ring ACAS also to see what they suggest in case you do not get the desired result from your manager due to their "friendship". If you are forced to leave because of this you may have a case against the company - hence my suggesting you ring ACAS.

    You are not being over-sensitive - as I've said above this is bullying of the worst case I have ever heard of before.

    Kind regards
    Steve
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    Hi Steve

    Thanks for the ideas. I have already complained about her in the past, but not formally. I will now make a formal complaint and let you know how I get on.

    However, as the HR manager/Company secretary is her boss, do you think I should go to a different top level manager at this stage or still go through her mananger?

    Speegs
  • 118 11kate118 11kate Well-Known Posts: 115Registered
    WOW!

    I cant believe you have sat this out for so long. :ohmy:

    I worked for a company once and had a simular but not as bad as you have described experience and it ruined my confidence, put a strain on my relationship with my partner and I just cried constantly:001_unsure:......dont let this happen to you!

    I agree with Steve, unfortunately I could not do that in my case because the person I had problems with was the Director Secretary and she approached him and said it was all me :huh:

    If this cant be sorted out then leave because a job is just a job and you dont deserve or need all that happening to you.

    Kate x
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    Thanks for all your support.

    The girl has managed to reduce me to tears on a couple of occassions, but I have already managed to wait until she is out of the room so that she does not get the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

    Anyway, I have just spoken to four other colleagues (funnily enough, all men) who are also being bullied regularly by this girl. We have agreed that we have had enough and we are all going to go to the pub at lunchtime to put together a formal complaint about her. Hopefully this will get submitted this afternoon. We want to put it through this afternoon so that she has the pleasure of sweating it out over the weekend. For once we can ruin her life for a bit.

    Speegs
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    Thanks Steve.

    I'll do that. In fact five of us are going to do that. Safety in number eh.

    She is also bullying four other people. ALL MEN!!

    Speegs
  • peugeotpeugeot Experienced Mentor Posts: 624Registered
    I would follow the company's grievance procedure just so you do things "by the book" (it will help you if you need to bring a case against the company).

    This woman needs bringing down - I absolutely detest bullies and the longer you put up with it, the worse it will get. Go to your manager - today - put in a formal complaint (in writing also and keep copies) and tell your manager that you wish it to be treated in accordance with the company's grievance procedure.

    Keep me posted.

    Best wishes
    Steve
  • peugeotpeugeot Experienced Mentor Posts: 624Registered
    She sounds like a complete b**** who deserves a good slap.
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    My goodness. She has just done it again.

    We have just a delivery and she has waltzed into my room as slammed it down on my desk as usual. I'm afraid I laughed at her though when my boss told her to "pick it up, leave the room and then come back and do it properly". Just like when we were at school. :laugh:
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    I mean really, she does not know how to behave. She is priceless and could keep me in business for soap opera material for years, because you really do only hear about these things on TV.

    I will endeavour to amuse you all (including me) in her antics until we get her at least back in check, or maybe even sacked (if we're lucky).
  • CudeyCudey Well-Known Posts: 138Registered
    If I'm allowed to ask, how old is this individual? Without trying to be prejudice, I presume she is rather young?
  • peugeotpeugeot Experienced Mentor Posts: 624Registered
    She'd get hung out to dry if she worked for me.
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    I think she is about 30 years old. We have much younger members of staff who all know how to behave perfectly well.

    For the record I am 34.

    Speegs
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    I had actually thought about hanging in the past, but I think we have a company policy somewhere that says we are not allowed to:

    1) Throw computers out of the window.

    2) Murder members of staff.

    Plus, if I killed her off her family would benefit as the company has one of those death in service pay out schemes that we are all in. Shame.
    :lol:
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    Steve

    Do you work for the AAT by any chance?

    Speegs
  • peugeotpeugeot Experienced Mentor Posts: 624Registered
    No I don't work for AAT - I'm in Manchester they're in London!!

    What makes you think that??
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    I don't know. I thought you did because you also give such good advice on the forums.

    Speegs
  • peugeotpeugeot Experienced Mentor Posts: 624Registered
    Thanks, Speegs!

    No I work in practice.

    Steve
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    Oh and there she goes again.

    I have just found out that there is a company wide meeting to be held on Monday afternoon and sure enough she has kept me out of the email. I only found out because my boss has just mentioned it.

    How rude is that?

    Is ostrasizing (I think that's how to spell it), bullying?
  • JanJan Experienced Mentor Posts: 654Registered
    Just to add my support Speegs - I was bullied at work years ago, before it was recognised as such, and put up with it for years - so well done for speaking out. I'm not surprised that she also bullies men, a bully is a bully and she probably thinks she'll be able to get away with it as they are less likely to complain. Age has nothing to do with it either - "my" bully was also in her 30's - they just haven't had anyone stand up to them and will continue to behave like that until someone does.

    Looks like your sense of humour is seeing you through all this ! Good luck this afternoon, keep us posted.
  • JanJan Experienced Mentor Posts: 654Registered
    Is ostrasizing (I think that's how to spell it), bullying?

    Yes - add it to your list! And ask your boss to keep you up to date on company meetings etc as you "don't seem to be on the emaiing list"
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    I will deliberately not turn up to the meeting on Monday, and when they come to find me to tell me there is a meeting as I enter the meeting room I will tell everyone in there that "I am sorry I am late, but I was left off the email".

    Well see if she turns red.

    Speegs
  • JanJan Experienced Mentor Posts: 654Registered
    Better to turn up as your boss has mentioned it, but check the look on her face and casually ask if she is surprised to see you?
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    Oh yes - what a good idea.

    She will probably brush it off, being the hard nose b**ch that she is.

    :thumbup1:
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    OK so here is quick update.

    About 15 minutes ago me and the other 4 bullied men, submitted our grievance to our managers. We have all now had invitations to a meeting at 3pm today to discuss any "misunderstandings". Hhhhhhhmmmmmm misunderstandings? I wonder what they could mean? :001_tongue:
  • sarahwilsonsarahwilson Experienced Mentor Posts: 567Registered
    Spitting and throwing mud, where does she think she is? Nursery!!! Shes worse than a bully, get her sorted speegs!!
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    Hi Sarah Wilson

    You are sooo right. We just went in to start our meeting and when she was told what it was regarding she told us all where to go and walked out. Meeting adjourned.

    By the way, i think she thinks this is a nursery because on and around her desk she has the following adornments:

    1) Flag bunting with the scull and cross on them around her desk.

    2) Various different sweets stuck around her computer monitor.

    3) A singning donkey or camel or something like that.

    4) A one foot tall alien!

    5) A pop up book about piracy.

    6) A bottle of "Brutt" hmmmm can't imagine why she has that. :confused:

    I feel like ending this list with "and a partridge in a pear tree", but she hasn't got one of those, amazingly. :lol:
  • sarahwilsonsarahwilson Experienced Mentor Posts: 567Registered
    Maybe she behaves so irrationally because shes drinking the Brut and its messing with her marbles:lol: And someone with a donkey fetish really shouldn't be working in an office environment!!
  • 118 11kate118 11kate Well-Known Posts: 115Registered
    Surely she just cant walk out and the meeting be adjourned!!!:ohmy:

    What are the bosses doing about her...NOTHING!.....surely that just shows them what she is like:confused1:

    :ohmy: Im gob smacked :ohmy:

    Im sorry but if it was my company......:mad2:.....


    LOL! Sorry Rant over, just keep us up dated "PLEASE"

    Kate
  • speegsspeegs Experienced Mentor Posts: 854Registered
    Well the update at the moment is that she is currently in a closed door meeting with the CEO, the CFO and the HR manager. Thing is, although the door is closed, the office is surrounded by glass so we can all see everything that's going on.

    At the moment she is crying. Oh dear. Do you think I should comfort her when she comes out. (Excuse me while I vomit). I can't believe she has turned on the water works. She obviously doesn't like it when the shoe is on the other foot!:angry:

    Oh hang on another email just arrived......

    Well, we have been invited to join her in her meeting with the CFO, CEO and HR manager. I'll keep you posted.

    Speak to you soon.
  • djDougsdjDougs Settling In Nicely Posts: 16Registered
    i take it your a male.

    fighting is the first sign of Love :001_wub: LOL
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