Am I the only Jew in this village?

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  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
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    speegs wrote: »
    Anyway all of this is great. I started a thread about being Jewish and now World War 3 has practically broken out. Just like real life. Oh well, as Tom Lehrer once sang...

    All the Hindus hate the Muslims
    And the Muslims hate the Hindus
    All of my folks hate all of your folks
    And everybody hates the Jews.

    I wouldn't worry about everyone hating the Jews - C of E and Roman Catholics don't exactly get on! Then add into that the thousands of other churches and you get a quite large collection of people that don't want to listen to the person stood next to them. Being outside Christianity is probably for the best:lol:

    You've got the best bit of the Bible as well - Moses vs. Goliath, King Solomon's Ark, Jonah and the Egyptians etc - the New Testament just has the feeding of 5,000 to the bread loaf and a couple of love letters from St Paul!:001_tongue:
  • speegs
    speegs Registered Posts: 854 Epic contributor 🐘
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    Yeah but Adam, does anydoby really believe that Jonah lived inside the Whales tummy and then got puked up. I mean come one really????
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
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    Same happened in Disney's Pinocchio if I remember rightly... So not impossible perhaps? Hang on, you've got me defending it now, that's not right surely?!:lol:
  • speegs
    speegs Registered Posts: 854 Epic contributor 🐘
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    What did you think of the Valentine Song. I thought it was fantastic and sent to a rather famous theatre producer friend of my. He nearly had a cardiac laughing.
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
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    I was sceptical when I got the link; thought "What a waste of my membership fees" but had a look earlier and thought it was quite good! I want it as a ringtone just so I can say somebody cares:lol:
  • mowzer
    mowzer Registered Posts: 67 Regular contributor ⭐
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    I'm still not convinced that I'm awake and the Valentine's song is real...

    Although as a Catholic I'm happy to believe even if I haven't seen, so thanks AAT!

    It was a nice alternative to the pile of smelly washing I expect from my other half though, the closest I'll get to a dozen roses will be the smell of persil ultra :001_smile:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
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    mowzer wrote: »
    It was a nice alternative to the pile of smelly washing I expect from my other half though, the closest I'll get to a dozen roses will be the smell of persil ultra :001_smile:

    There are worse things! Speaking of which, that's just reminded me that I've got a load of washing in the machine to sort out! Almost went to bed and left it:blushing:
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    AdamR wrote: »
    I'll bear that in mind, thanks! Although how I'm meant to smuggle sweets between the door of life and death I don't know. If I'm buried with them, would that work? Bit like the Egyptians used to do with their gold and slaves etc.

    You can't just be burried with them, otherwise you'd be bringing the coffin with you as well :001_rolleyes: To successfully bring something into the afterlife, apparently you have to hold them in your insides, so that when Pete takes your body, he accidentally takes whatever is in your mouth as well - which would be the pack of worthers....

    When you are up at the pearly gates, just whip them out (wipe them down a bit), and bribe your way in.

    BTW, don't ask me how I plan to bring a baseball bat with me though :huh: :ohmy:
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
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    Do you think we should open it up to the forum and see where our colleagues think this baseball bat should go.

    (You could offer a prize. I would make it worthwhile as it is your eternal life at stake. How about a duplicate packet of Worthers?)

    Up your oxter?

    (Have I won?)
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Cullen wrote: »
    Do you think we should open it up to the forum and see where our colleagues think this baseball bat should go.

    (You could offer a prize. I would make it worthwhile as it is your eternal life at stake. How about a duplicate packet of Worthers?)

    Up your oxter?

    (Have I won?)

    Thats what i love about these forums from Jewish belief to baseball bats :lol:
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Cullen wrote: »
    Do you think we should open it up to the forum and see where our colleagues think this baseball bat should go.

    (You could offer a prize. I would make it worthwhile as it is your eternal life at stake. How about a duplicate packet of Worthers?)

    Up your oxter?

    (Have I won?)

    No prizes for guessing where the baseball bat will go I'm afraid. But any helpful hints or suggestions as to how to get it in there without getting a million splinters will be appreciated. :crying:

    Obviously, I'll need some industrial strength lube and plenty of elbow grease….I have unusually small nostrels :blushing:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
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    Perhaps we could take up sword swallowing? That would be a more effective weapon in the right hands, and plenty of people do it without any injury whatsoever. Mental note not to try a cutless or anything else curved...!:laugh:

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