The Chuckathon...you will get the idea

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Ghosts are acutally the result of Chuck Norris killing people faster then death can process them.
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  • [Deleted User]
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    Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
  • [Deleted User]
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    The best part of waking up isn't Folger's in your cup. It's the fact that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
  • [Deleted User]
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    In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • CJC
    CJC Registered Posts: 1,657 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    When NASA first sent a probe to Mars they discovered a crater that is, down to the very last detail, the exact image of Chuck Norris's head.
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    ok we get it you like chuck lol
  • steveJ
    steveJ Registered Posts: 694 Epic contributor 🐘
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    Asked for the first two words to programme into his elecronic voicebox, Stephen Hawkin said ...
  • [Deleted User]
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    Every year, during tax season, Chuck Norris sends in blank tax sheets and a picture of himself crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes.
  • [Deleted User]
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    steveJ wrote: »
    Asked for the first two words to programme into his elecronic voicebox, Stephen Hawkin said ...

    The only man who ever outsmarted Chuck Norris was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
  • CJC
    CJC Registered Posts: 1,657 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Chuck Norris invented cheese.
  • blobbyh
    blobbyh Registered Posts: 2,415 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
  • steveJ
    steveJ Registered Posts: 694 Epic contributor 🐘
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    A little known fact - At the tender age of 6, Chuck Norris actually grew his first beard, in honour of his great grandmother (also with a beard, but alot longer at a length of 3-4ft and much bushier - filling Chuck with jealousy even to this day) who used it to camouflage herself while living with bears in Canada.

    She later died in a Canadian psychiatric unit. After years of protest-claiming that she was Bigfoot.

    RIP grandma Norris
  • steveJ
    steveJ Registered Posts: 694 Epic contributor 🐘
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    CJC wrote: »
    Chuck Norris invented cheese.

    A common mis-conception...He actually invented sliced cheese. With a lightening fast karate chop he could cut a 2ft block of stilton into 94 slices.
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

    Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
  • PGM
    PGM Registered Posts: 1,954 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • PGM
    PGM Registered Posts: 1,954 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    And a more relevant one;


    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  • blobbyh
    blobbyh Registered Posts: 2,415 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • taskey
    taskey Registered Posts: 1,800 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  • blobbyh
    blobbyh Registered Posts: 2,415 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    If Chuck Norris tells you there are no more than 100 grams in a kilo, you'd better believe him.
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
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    Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Cullen wrote: »
    Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"

    ok even i like that one :lol:
  • [Deleted User]
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    Chuck Norris actually died 3 years ago. Death was just too affraid to tell him.
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Chuck Norris acutally let corrie use one of his names for a charactor in their soap !!!:laugh:
  • [Deleted User]
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    There are 4 legal methods of execution in the U.S. Electricution, The Gas Chamber, Lethal Injection and Chuck Norris.
  • [Deleted User]
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    Chuck Norris has killed many men but has never been accused of murder due to his roundhouse kick being known as an act of God.
  • blobbyh
    blobbyh Registered Posts: 2,415 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    ive heard on the grapevine that usaine bolt thinks that Chuck Norris is after him ??
  • blobbyh
    blobbyh Registered Posts: 2,415 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Following a thousand years of living, Chuck Norris finally decided to die. Soon after his arrival in Heaven he finally met God, sitting on his Holy throne who gently asked him, "And what can I do for you, my son?"

    To which, Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the head then looked down and said, "Don't call me son and get out of my chair..."
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    Chuck Norris even turned madusa's snakes to stone
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
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    where do people think we got the word fcuk(rearrange them) from


    it was one guy who got kicked by Chuck Norris then with a lisp called out Chuck's name to finish the business......


    but it never sounded like Chuck ?
  • steveJ
    steveJ Registered Posts: 694 Epic contributor 🐘
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    How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

    - Contrary to popular belief this was not written by Chuck Norris.
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