The Chuckathon...you will get the idea

Ghosts are acutally the result of Chuck Norris killing people faster then death can process them.
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  • Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
  • The best part of waking up isn't Folger's in your cup. It's the fact that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
  • In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • CJCCJC Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 1,657
    When NASA first sent a probe to Mars they discovered a crater that is, down to the very last detail, the exact image of Chuck Norris's head.
  • A-VicA-Vic Expertise Guaranteed Registered Posts: 6,970
    ok we get it you like chuck lol
  • steveJsteveJ Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 694
    Asked for the first two words to programme into his elecronic voicebox, Stephen Hawkin said ...
  • Every year, during tax season, Chuck Norris sends in blank tax sheets and a picture of himself crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes.
  • steveJ wrote: »
    Asked for the first two words to programme into his elecronic voicebox, Stephen Hawkin said ...

    The only man who ever outsmarted Chuck Norris was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
  • CJCCJC Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 1,657
    Chuck Norris invented cheese.
  • blobbyhblobbyh Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,415
    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
  • steveJsteveJ Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 694
    A little known fact - At the tender age of 6, Chuck Norris actually grew his first beard, in honour of his great grandmother (also with a beard, but alot longer at a length of 3-4ft and much bushier - filling Chuck with jealousy even to this day) who used it to camouflage herself while living with bears in Canada.

    She later died in a Canadian psychiatric unit. After years of protest-claiming that she was Bigfoot.

    RIP grandma Norris
  • steveJsteveJ Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 694
    CJC wrote: »
    Chuck Norris invented cheese.

    A common mis-conception...He actually invented sliced cheese. With a lightening fast karate chop he could cut a 2ft block of stilton into 94 slices.
  • LondonMattLondonMatt Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 1,110
    There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

    Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
  • PGMPGM Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 1,954
    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • PGMPGM Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 1,954
    And a more relevant one;


    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  • blobbyhblobbyh Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,415
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • taskeytaskey Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 1,800
    There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
  • blobbyhblobbyh Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,415
    If Chuck Norris tells you there are no more than 100 grams in a kilo, you'd better believe him.
  • CullenCullen Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 592
    Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"
  • A-VicA-Vic Expertise Guaranteed Registered Posts: 6,970
    Cullen wrote: »
    Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter"

    ok even i like that one :lol:
  • Chuck Norris actually died 3 years ago. Death was just too affraid to tell him.
  • mark130273mark130273 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 4,234
    Chuck Norris acutally let corrie use one of his names for a charactor in their soap !!!:laugh:
  • There are 4 legal methods of execution in the U.S. Electricution, The Gas Chamber, Lethal Injection and Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris has killed many men but has never been accused of murder due to his roundhouse kick being known as an act of God.
  • blobbyhblobbyh Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,415
    Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
  • mark130273mark130273 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 4,234
    ive heard on the grapevine that usaine bolt thinks that Chuck Norris is after him ??
  • blobbyhblobbyh Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,415
    Following a thousand years of living, Chuck Norris finally decided to die. Soon after his arrival in Heaven he finally met God, sitting on his Holy throne who gently asked him, "And what can I do for you, my son?"

    To which, Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the head then looked down and said, "Don't call me son and get out of my chair..."
  • A-VicA-Vic Expertise Guaranteed Registered Posts: 6,970
    Chuck Norris even turned madusa's snakes to stone
  • mark130273mark130273 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 4,234
    where do people think we got the word fcuk(rearrange them) from


    it was one guy who got kicked by Chuck Norris then with a lisp called out Chuck's name to finish the business......


    but it never sounded like Chuck ?
  • steveJsteveJ Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 694
    How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

    - Contrary to popular belief this was not written by Chuck Norris.
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