The Chuckathon...you will get the idea

Options
24

Comments

  • steveJ
    steveJ Registered Posts: 694 Epic contributor 🐘
    Options
    When casting for Shangai Noon the producers actually wanted Chuck Norris instead of Steve Coogan. But Jackie Chan refused to work with him after feeling too intimidated.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0
    Options
    When Chuck Norris takes a bath, he doesn't get wet...the water gets Chuck Norris'd.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0
    Options
    If it smells like chicken, tastes like chicken, looks like chicken and Chuck Norris tells you it's beef...It's f***ing beef!
  • rachy1975
    rachy1975 Registered Posts: 366 Dedicated contributor 🦉
    Options
    Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men.
  • PGM
    PGM Registered Posts: 1,954 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    Bazinga

    Chuck Norris can make any balance sheet balance, using this stare;

    670ea22ac1b85d320b1f1a75afc6d991.jpg
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    steveJ wrote: »
    How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

    - Contrary to popular belief this was not written by Chuck Norris.

    easy for you to say
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    i once played poker with chuck norris and i folded every hand ??
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    Chuck norris tought Mr Meagee karate
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0
    Options
    This is what happens when Chuck is forced to use his roundhouse kick. This footage was taken in Hiroshima in 1945. Shortly after, World War 2 ended and Chuck's involvment was kept secret.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOIRJi1YWY8
  • CJC
    CJC Registered Posts: 1,657 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    Chuck Norris makes VAT inspectors nervous.
  • steveJ
    steveJ Registered Posts: 694 Epic contributor 🐘
    Options
    Don Juan wrote: »
    This is what happens when Chuck is forced to use his roundhouse kick. This footage was taken in Hiroshima in 1945. Shortly after, World War 2 ended and Chuck's involvment was kept secret.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOIRJi1YWY8


    Despite conspiracy theories i.e explosives were used for the film, It was a Chuck Norris double...

    i firmly believe the FACTS !! that the explosion was caused from a blow by a size 10 converse plimsol (Coincidentally worn by Chuck Norris)

    You decide !!
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    don juan wrote: »
    this is what happens when chuck is forced to use his roundhouse kick. This footage was taken in hiroshima in 1945. Shortly after, world war 2 ended and chuck's involvment was kept secret.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoirji1ywy8

    and he missed as well ?
  • farmergiles
    farmergiles Registered Posts: 1,693 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    CJC wrote: »
    Chuck Norris makes VAT inspectors nervous.

    I thought Chuck Norris trained VAT Inspectors....:lol::lol:
  • blobbyh
    blobbyh Registered Posts: 2,415 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    A-Vic wrote: »
    Chuck norris tought Mr Meagee karate

    guess you were watching kk2 on channel 5 yesterday then ?
  • jkc
    jkc Registered Posts: 166 Dedicated contributor 🦉
    Options
    my brother has got a chuck norris action figure for sale on e-bay it hasnt sold!
    chuck norris always roundhouse kicks the highest bidder into re-bidding....
    The bid is currently: 120040000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

    :tongue_smilie:
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    Chuck Norris does not dance, he roundhouse kicks to the beat.
  • blobbyh
    blobbyh Registered Posts: 2,415 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he takes blood baths.
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    Chuck norris once went to wimbledon to watch tennis and his aura was so big that they closed the roof on centre court !!!!


    ARGHHHHH someone mention centre court roof again !!!
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    mark130273 wrote: »
    Chuck norris once went to wimbledon to watch tennis and his aura was so big that they closed the roof on centre court !!!!


    ARGHHHHH someone mention centre court roof again !!!

    hey mark did you know wimbledon centre court has a roof now
  • steveJ
    steveJ Registered Posts: 694 Epic contributor 🐘
    Options
    Chuck Norris is possibly the only match for Roger Federer ! With a strong forehand and an ace serving roundhouse kick, its a tough call !!

    When Chuck shouts "you cannot be serious"- you better not be !!
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    Chuck Norris is the reason female tennis players grunt so loudly
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    Options
    And some of the blokes.....
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    well did you know that the williams sisters wereactually one person who challenged Chuck Norris to a fight , one roundhouse kick later and then there was two !
  • blobbyh
    blobbyh Registered Posts: 2,415 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    Since the age of three, Chuck Norris has only ever shaved using broken glass and spit. He has never cut himself. Chuck Norris has never spilled his own blood, only that of others.
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    i heard on the grapevine that the 3rd umpire in the ashes is going to be Chuck Norris....so if it goes to him......whats ever he gives !!!STANDS !!!
  • steveJ
    steveJ Registered Posts: 694 Epic contributor 🐘
    Options
    Chuck Norris was disappointed with Roger Federer winning his 15th grandslam. He has over taken Chucks own personal record of 14 grand choke slams in a steel cage.

    I've also heard on the net that Chuck Norris helped with the secret hiding of Elvis and Michael Jackson.

    The truth is outthere !!
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    i did hear that Chester Zoo told everyone that 30 chimps had escaped ,so everyone had to evacuate..........

    but i KNOW that Chuck Norris wanted the Zoo to himself for a hour or so !:laugh::laugh:
  • Sonny_L
    Sonny_L Registered Posts: 201 Dedicated contributor 🦉
    Options
    mark130273 wrote: »
    i did hear that Chester Zoo told everyone that 30 chimps had escaped ,so everyone had to evacuate..........

    but i KNOW that Chuck Norris wanted the Zoo to himself for a hour or so !:laugh::laugh:

    You shouldn't make up your own Mark, otherwise this happens!
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Options
    Sonny_L wrote: »
    You shouldn't make up your own Mark, otherwise this happens!
    what happens ???:confused1:

Categories

Privacy Policy