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Never argue with a woman who reads

24

Comments

  • LondonMattLondonMatt Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 1,110
    jilt wrote: »
    Keep looking over your shoulder and a weapon by your bed :laugh:


    Don't worry, I always carry my 'guns' with me

    *Flexes biceps, growls at computer and kisses each arm*
  • jiltjilt Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,903
    AdamR wrote: »
    Don't worry, I do that already - just incase the ex comes back!

    You wuss!!
    LondonMatt wrote: »
    *Flexes biceps, growls at computer and kisses each arm*

    Biceps, from a man who's scared of spiders :lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • AK002AK002 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,492
    mark130273 wrote: »
    gosh you must have an expensive ironing board...........


    youve got internet on it ??? :laugh::laugh:

    This man speaks sence (same i can't spell it though LOL!) :001_tt2:
  • AdamRAdamR Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 668
    jilt wrote: »
    You wuss!!

    Wuss? Exactly the opposite - I want to be able to finish what I started:biggrin:

    (Distant whine of a chainsaw starting up...)
  • LondonMattLondonMatt Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 1,110
    jilt wrote: »
    Biceps, from a man who's scared of spiders :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    That spider in my garden was huge! Normal spiders I can deal with, spiders the size of small dogs I can't.

    I think even the great man himself would have struggled to take down that spiderdog.....
  • AK002AK002 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,492
    jilt wrote: »
    Biceps, from a man who's scared of spiders :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    Nothing wrong with that..

    It's a disease being scared of spiders, an illness :(

    I myself suffer from it :lol:

    Bloody horrible little things lol, makes me shiver :(
  • jiltjilt Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,903
    AK002 wrote: »

    Bloody horrible little things lol, makes me shiver :(

    Bit like the effect your avatar has on me :laugh:
  • AK002AK002 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,492
    jilt wrote: »
    Bit like the effect your avatar has on me :laugh:

    With laughter i hope?

    Everyone else liked it :001_tt2:
  • AdamRAdamR Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 668
    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

    Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

    The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

    Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

    She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

    He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

    "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

    He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." he said with a deep sigh...



    "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
  • LondonMattLondonMatt Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 1,110
    jilt wrote: »
    Bit like the effect your avatar has on me :laugh:

    ....says the woman in a rubber cat suit, mask and whip....

    :laugh:
  • AK002AK002 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,492
    Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?

    A: Because the sun was out.
  • jiltjilt Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,903
    AdamR wrote: »
    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

    Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

    The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

    Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

    She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

    He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

    "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

    He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." he said with a deep sigh...



    "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."


    :lol::lol::lol::lol: Now that is funny!................................... but it don't get you off the hook....................

    still a gender war going on here:angry:
  • AK002AK002 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,492
    War? Really?

    Women can't fight, FACT. :)
  • jiltjilt Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,903
    LondonMatt wrote: »
    ....says the woman in a rubber cat suit, mask and whip....

    :laugh:

    But my womanly curves are better than his curves don't you think? :001_unsure:
  • AdamRAdamR Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 668
    No argument from me!
  • LondonMattLondonMatt Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 1,110
    jilt wrote: »
    But my womanly curves are better than his curves don't you think? :001_unsure:

    He has just the one curve, one really big curve that makes him round
  • LondonMattLondonMatt Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 1,110
    AK002 wrote: »
    War? Really?

    Women can't fight, FACT. :)


    No they can't - we don't allow 'em - so I think we'll win this war yet!

    Besides, it looks like its 3 against 1...where have all the other women posters gone??


    Washing up, no doubt :001_tt2:
  • mark130273mark130273 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 4,234
    gender war !!!! gee will hope we are throwing bombs about,,,,,because you know you GIRLS cant throw for toffee !!!!:laugh::laugh::laugh:
  • AK002AK002 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,492
    Back where they belong, the kitchen :D ^
  • taskeytaskey Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 1,800
    i am here, was too busy brushing my hair for the fight

    Tracy
  • AdamRAdamR Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 668
    What have you done wrong if the wife keeps coming in to the living room to nag at you? Made the chain too long.

    How many men does it take to change a light builb? None, let the £$%^& cook in the dark.

    How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None, it should of been opened before she brought it in.

    (Honestly, I'm not a chauvenist!:laugh:)
  • mark130273mark130273 Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 4,234
    LondonMatt wrote: »


    Washing up, no doubt :001_tt2:

    are you sure they are washing up ???

    i havent had my cup of tea and home made scones yet !!! hurry up b*tch !!:thumbup1:
  • A-VicA-Vic Expertise Guaranteed Registered Posts: 6,970
    AK002 wrote: »
    War? Really?

    Women can't fight, FACT. :)

    Neither can you in that get up lmao
  • LondonMattLondonMatt Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 1,110
    A-Vic wrote: »
    Neither can you in that get up lmao


    No, but he can run at ya really fast and knock you over.....he's like a human bowling ball! Dangerous!!
  • jiltjilt Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,903
    AK002 wrote: »
    Back where they belong, the kitchen :D ^

    Did you feel the breeze as the carving knife whizzed past your ear? ...... that was just a practise shot :laugh:
  • AdamRAdamR Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 668
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]TRUE MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I'm a Romantic."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I'm poor."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "She's kinda cute."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]head might be necessary."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I don't know if I like her."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Was it good for you?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Who are you?"[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Do you love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]out sooner or later."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "How much do you love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]their way to tell you by now."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I have something to tell you."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Get tested."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I think we should just be friends."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You're ugly."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Next!!!!"[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."[/FONT]
  • Laura CameronLaura Cameron Feels At Home Registered Posts: 46
    Its getting messy on here.... all the woman are too busy working to be posting thats my excuse not that i have no good comebacks lol x:lol:
  • AdamRAdamR Experienced Mentor Registered Posts: 668
    The bliss of a day off...! Although should I be admitting that I'm on here when I'm on holiday?!:laugh:
  • Laura CameronLaura Cameron Feels At Home Registered Posts: 46
    AdamR wrote: »
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]TRUE MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I'm a Romantic."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I'm poor."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "She's kinda cute."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]head might be necessary."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I don't know if I like her."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Was it good for you?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Who are you?"[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Do you love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]out sooner or later."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "How much do you love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]their way to tell you by now."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I have something to tell you."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Get tested."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I think we should just be friends."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You're ugly."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Next!!!!"[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."[/FONT]



    All Very true lol x
  • DiannewDiannew Font Of All Knowledge Registered Posts: 2,814
    jilt wrote: »
    But my womanly curves are better than his curves don't you think? :001_unsure:

    He will be ok, once he has had a good T***P

    Typical man full of wind:lol::lol:
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