Never argue with a woman who reads

24

Comments

  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    jilt wrote: ยป
    Keep looking over your shoulder and a weapon by your bed :laugh:


    Don't worry, I always carry my 'guns' with me

    *Flexes biceps, growls at computer and kisses each arm*
  • jilt
    jilt Registered Posts: 2,903 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    AdamR wrote: ยป
    Don't worry, I do that already - just incase the ex comes back!

    You wuss!!
    *Flexes biceps, growls at computer and kisses each arm*

    Biceps, from a man who's scared of spiders :lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • AK002
    AK002 Registered Posts: 2,492 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    gosh you must have an expensive ironing board...........


    youve got internet on it ??? :laugh::laugh:

    This man speaks sence (same i can't spell it though LOL!) :001_tt2:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor ๐Ÿ˜
    jilt wrote: ยป
    You wuss!!

    Wuss? Exactly the opposite - I want to be able to finish what I started:biggrin:

    (Distant whine of a chainsaw starting up...)
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    jilt wrote: ยป
    Biceps, from a man who's scared of spiders :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    That spider in my garden was huge! Normal spiders I can deal with, spiders the size of small dogs I can't.

    I think even the great man himself would have struggled to take down that spiderdog.....
  • AK002
    AK002 Registered Posts: 2,492 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    jilt wrote: ยป
    Biceps, from a man who's scared of spiders :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    Nothing wrong with that..

    It's a disease being scared of spiders, an illness :(

    I myself suffer from it :lol:

    Bloody horrible little things lol, makes me shiver :(
  • jilt
    jilt Registered Posts: 2,903 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    AK002 wrote: ยป

    Bloody horrible little things lol, makes me shiver :(

    Bit like the effect your avatar has on me :laugh:
  • AK002
    AK002 Registered Posts: 2,492 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    jilt wrote: ยป
    Bit like the effect your avatar has on me :laugh:

    With laughter i hope?

    Everyone else liked it :001_tt2:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor ๐Ÿ˜
    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

    Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

    The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

    Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

    She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

    He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

    "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

    He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." he said with a deep sigh...



    "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    jilt wrote: ยป
    Bit like the effect your avatar has on me :laugh:

    ....says the woman in a rubber cat suit, mask and whip....

    :laugh:
  • AK002
    AK002 Registered Posts: 2,492 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?

    A: Because the sun was out.
  • jilt
    jilt Registered Posts: 2,903 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    AdamR wrote: ยป
    A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

    Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

    The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

    Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

    She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

    He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

    "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

    He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." he said with a deep sigh...



    "Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."


    :lol::lol::lol::lol: Now that is funny!................................... but it don't get you off the hook....................

    still a gender war going on here:angry:
  • AK002
    AK002 Registered Posts: 2,492 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    War? Really?

    Women can't fight, FACT. :)
  • jilt
    jilt Registered Posts: 2,903 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    ....says the woman in a rubber cat suit, mask and whip....

    :laugh:

    But my womanly curves are better than his curves don't you think? :001_unsure:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor ๐Ÿ˜
    No argument from me!
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    jilt wrote: ยป
    But my womanly curves are better than his curves don't you think? :001_unsure:

    He has just the one curve, one really big curve that makes him round
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    AK002 wrote: ยป
    War? Really?

    Women can't fight, FACT. :)


    No they can't - we don't allow 'em - so I think we'll win this war yet!

    Besides, it looks like its 3 against 1...where have all the other women posters gone??


    Washing up, no doubt :001_tt2:
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    gender war !!!! gee will hope we are throwing bombs about,,,,,because you know you GIRLS cant throw for toffee !!!!:laugh::laugh::laugh:
  • AK002
    AK002 Registered Posts: 2,492 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    Back where they belong, the kitchen :D ^
  • taskey
    taskey Registered Posts: 1,800 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    i am here, was too busy brushing my hair for the fight

    Tracy
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor ๐Ÿ˜
    What have you done wrong if the wife keeps coming in to the living room to nag at you? Made the chain too long.

    How many men does it take to change a light builb? None, let the ยฃ$%^& cook in the dark.

    How many men does it take to open a can of beer? None, it should of been opened before she brought it in.

    (Honestly, I'm not a chauvenist!:laugh:)
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ


    Washing up, no doubt :001_tt2:

    are you sure they are washing up ???

    i havent had my cup of tea and home made scones yet !!! hurry up b*tch !!:thumbup1:
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    AK002 wrote: ยป
    War? Really?

    Women can't fight, FACT. :)

    Neither can you in that get up lmao
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    A-Vic wrote: ยป
    Neither can you in that get up lmao


    No, but he can run at ya really fast and knock you over.....he's like a human bowling ball! Dangerous!!
  • jilt
    jilt Registered Posts: 2,903 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    AK002 wrote: ยป
    Back where they belong, the kitchen :D ^

    Did you feel the breeze as the carving knife whizzed past your ear? ...... that was just a practise shot :laugh:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor ๐Ÿ˜
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]TRUE MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I'm a Romantic."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I'm poor."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "She's kinda cute."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]head might be necessary."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I don't know if I like her."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Was it good for you?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Who are you?"[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Do you love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]out sooner or later."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "How much do you love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]their way to tell you by now."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I have something to tell you."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Get tested."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I think we should just be friends."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You're ugly."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Next!!!!"[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."[/FONT]
  • Laura Cameron
    Laura Cameron Registered Posts: 46 Regular contributor โญ
    Its getting messy on here.... all the woman are too busy working to be posting thats my excuse not that i have no good comebacks lol x:lol:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor ๐Ÿ˜
    The bliss of a day off...! Although should I be admitting that I'm on here when I'm on holiday?!:laugh:
  • Laura Cameron
    Laura Cameron Registered Posts: 46 Regular contributor โญ
    AdamR wrote: ยป
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]TRUE MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I'm a Romantic."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I'm poor."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "She's kinda cute."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]head might be necessary."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I don't know if I like her."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Was it good for you?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Who are you?"[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Do you love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]out sooner or later."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "How much do you love me?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]their way to tell you by now."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I have something to tell you."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Get tested."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I think we should just be friends."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "You're ugly."[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "Next!!!!"[/FONT]

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."[/FONT]



    All Very true lol x
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™‚๏ธ
    jilt wrote: ยป
    But my womanly curves are better than his curves don't you think? :001_unsure:

    He will be ok, once he has had a good T***P

    Typical man full of wind:lol::lol:
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