If you could....

13468914

Comments

  • taskey
    taskey Registered Posts: 1,800 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    i saw a programme about shaving with different products and peanut butter won - as it has the best oils in?????

    i think it was on brainiac or something like that

    tracy
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    I'll give it a go later when I shave my legs...I mean face. When I shave my face.
    Its peanut butter for shaving faces but marmalade for legs :001_rolleyes:
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    Mmm peanuts....Peanut butter.....

    I'll give it a go later when I shave my legs...I mean face. When I shave my face.

    Peanut butter and lancashire cheese mmmmmm
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    I love Lancashire cheese. I have to take pounds of it over to Ireland when I go to see my Dad. (That's your cybergrandad, Matt). I always thought he ate it, but AVic has made me think he rubs it on his face when he shaves????

    Marmalade is it? I only shave my legs so I can swim faster.......when I do the Channel or Lake Windermere and the like.

    Dianne and Mark are very quiet! Is she wearing her nurses outfit today?
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    I love Lancashire cheese. I have to take pounds of it over to Ireland when I go to see my Dad. (That's your cybergrandad, Matt). I always thought he ate it, but AVic has made me think he rubs it on his face when he shaves????

    Marmalade is it? I only shave my legs so I can swim faster.......when I do the Channel or Lake Windermere and the like.

    Dianne and Mark are very quiet! Is she wearing her nurses outfit today?


    I am here!!

    I have been quietly plotting to publish the worlds first ever "Hermaphrodite" beauty tips book based on all your beauty secrets that you have been disclosing, I am just waiting for the proof copy from my cyber publishers.... When I make my millions I will send you a postcard from "far a way land" not "not away with the fairies land" where you three live......thank you all and happy shaving.....:lol:
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    I love Lancashire cheese. I have to take pounds of it over to Ireland when I go to see my Dad. (That's your cybergrandad, Matt). I always thought he ate it, but AVic has made me think he rubs it on his face when he shaves????
    Is tha Grandpa Wallace Cullen? The rather slow witted inventor who has a dog with no mouth?
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    Dianne and Mark are very quiet! Is she wearing her nurses outfit today?

    I can't tell, she still has her curtains closed :001_rolleyes:
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Is tha Grandpa Wallace Cullen? The rather slow witted inventor who has a dog with no mouth?



    I can't tell, she still has her curtains closed :001_rolleyes:

    Be carefull....my house is the one with blinds...you have your binoculars pointed at the wrong house:lol::lol:
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Diannew wrote: Β»
    Be carefull....my house is the one with blinds...you have your binoculars pointed at the wrong house:lol::lol:
    :ohmy: So you are not the sado-masocist housewife who's extra friendly with her milkman! :confused1:
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    No, everyone knows Dianne is the one who dresses up, sometimes as a nurse, sometimes as a milkman. Mark is the sado masochist. (He likes hurting himself.)

    What do hermaphrodites like to do to themselves???

    So, Dianne, you are waiting to publish? Shall I read about you in the next edition of Summing Up?
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    :ohmy: So you are not the sado-masocist housewife who's extra friendly with her milkman! :confused1:


    Nope!!!!!!! I like to keep my secret hobbies close to my heart........but you obviously know a lot about the person in the house with the curtains.......was that you in the pink doylie...with a distictive aroma of peanut butter and marmalde...........sneaking in the back way last night.....................:lol:
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    No, everyone knows Dianne is the one who dresses up, sometimes as a nurse, sometimes as a milkman. Mark is the sado masochist. (He likes hurting himself.)

    What do hermaphrodites like to do to themselves???

    So, Dianne, you are waiting to publish? Shall I read about you in the next edition of Summing Up?


    Wait and see:lol::lol:

    As for the Milkmans uniform..........just because I have one hanging on my washing line doe's not mean I am the one that wears it...................:001_tt2:
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Diannew wrote: Β»
    Nope!!!!!!! I like to keep my secret hobbies close to my heart........but you obviously know a lot about the person in the house with the curtains.......was that you in the pink doylie...with a distictive aroma of peanut butter and marmalde...........sneaking in the back way last night.....................:lol:

    I gentleman such as myself does not sneak 'in the back way' :ohmy: he announces his intentions to the person in question and duly awaits the appropriate response before proceeding. No sneaking involved....not even on my birthday :001_unsure:
  • CJC
    CJC Registered Posts: 1,657 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Could people please start spelling doily correctly or I'll have to get the whip out whip.gif

    Thank you.
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    I gentleman such as myself does not sneak 'in the back way' :ohmy: he announces his intentions to the person in question and duly awaits the appropriate response before proceeding. No sneaking involved....not even on my birthday :001_unsure:


    Yes..I can understand.....especially after sitting on that poor upholsted seat for so long:lol::lol:

    A gentleman like your self would announce his intentions......................and go straight through the front door........after duly awaiting an invitation.....:lol::lol:

    For a moment I allowed myself to be influenced by what the others where saying about you.:001_tt2:
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    CJC wrote: Β»
    Could people please start spelling doily correctly or I'll have to get the whip out.

    Thank you.

    That was out of the Cyber dictionary.....sorry:lol:
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    You can see, Dianne, that Matt is not bad, he is just too easily influenced by Adam. It was Adam that made him dress up in those outfits and slaughter that virgin at dawn. Matt has been well brought up. I made sure manners were thrashed into him on a regular basis. Some of our happiest memories are of me whipping him with a wet tea towel..

    (CJC, doyley is an acceptable anglicised alternative spelling to the original french word meaning a haberdasher. I looked it up in my Funk and Wagnell)
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    You can see, Dianne, that Matt is not bad, he is just too easily influenced by Adam. It was Adam that made him dress up in those outfits and slaughter that virgin at dawn. Matt has been well brought up. I made sure manners were thrashed into him on a regular basis. Some of our happiest memories are of me whipping him with a wet tea towel..

    (CJC, doyley is an acceptable anglicised alternative spelling to the original french word meaning a haberdasher. I looked it up in my Funk and Wagnell)

    I am sorry...but that does not wash with me.....Matt had a choice...he could have said NO!!:lol::lol:

    I also see that your methods of bringing him up have had a big influence on how that poor lad has turned out.................shame on you really!!!!:lol::lol:

    I am sure your Cyber peers will be determining your future as we speak:lol:
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    You can see, Dianne, that Matt is not bad, he is just too easily influenced by Adam. It was Adam that made him dress up in those outfits and slaughter that virgin at dawn. Matt has been well brought up. I made sure manners were thrashed into him on a regular basis. Some of our happiest memories are of me whipping him with a wet tea towel..

    (CJC, doyley is an acceptable anglicised alternative spelling to the original french word meaning a haberdasher. I looked it up in my Funk and Wagnell)

    I am sorry...but that does not wash with me.....Matt had a choice...he could have said NO!!:lol::lol:

    I also see that your methods of bringing him up have had a big influence on how that poor lad has turned out.................shame on you really!!!!:lol::lol:

    I am sure your Cyber peers will be determining your future as we speak:lol:

    Which will obviously be published in the next Summing Up::001_tt2:(1-1 )
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    You can see, Dianne, that Matt is not bad, he is just too easily influenced by Adam. It was Adam that made him dress up in those outfits and slaughter that virgin at dawn. Matt has been well brought up. I made sure manners were thrashed into him on a regular basis. Some of our happiest memories are of me whipping him with a wet tea towel..

    That is one of my memories yes. Not so sure I'd call them my happiest memory…

    You couldn't do that nowadays though could you? Whiping your adopted cyber son with a wet towel? No way!! The hippy, left wing, PC mad liberals we have running the 'elf and safety departement wouldn't stand for a bit of disicipline today would they!! Oh no! Its PC gone mad I tells ya! Probably also object to putting me on a bonfire as well!!
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    That's a good point, actually about Health and Safety for arsonists. I might have hurt myself whilst attempting to incinerate you, Matt. How bad would that have been!!

    I distictly remember you smiling whilst you got your thrashings. Are you now claiming it was a grimace? A bit late, don't you think? I am sure I heard you say "Beat me, Daddy, 8 to the bar"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7pcOQoLqBM
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    You can see, Dianne, that Matt is not bad, he is just too easily influenced by Adam. It was Adam that made him dress up in those outfits and slaughter that virgin at dawn.

    No no no that wasn't me! I swear! Matt wasn't the one who went on the rampage either...

    My alter-ego, Frank, was the guilty one so I wish to be tried for manslaughter on the grounds of diminshed resonsibility. I was left heartbroken by the decline in my relationship with Gem and Matt and this sadness let Frank in to assume control.:sad:

    Alternatively, I'd like to be tried for a role in Strictly Come Dancing, dressed as a chicken and being partnered by Gordon Brown.:001_smile:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
    I've just noticed that this is the second most replied-to thread in the Chat section. What's interesting is that probably no more than 10 posts are actually anything to do with the opener and thread title! Has another thread ever been more overun with unrelated rubbish??:laugh:
  • Jan
    Jan Registered Posts: 654 Epic contributor 🐘
    Has another thread ever been more overun with unrelated rubbish??
    See Study Buddies on old Forum - you have quite a way to go!
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
    Wow. Ok then, not including the old forums! Although that was going for over a year; this one is only a week old so maybe we can surpass it!:laugh:
  • Jan
    Jan Registered Posts: 654 Epic contributor 🐘
    A year - hadn't realised it went on for so long, oh the memories...and although I didn't post that often, I had the honour of the very last one!
    I think there was even one question somewhere in there that related to study.

    Oh well as Zebadee said, time for bed....zzzz
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Alternatively, I'd like to be tried for a role in Strictly Come Dancing, dressed as a chicken and being partnered by Gordon Brown.:001_smile:[/QUOTE]


    That I would pay good money to see:lol::lol:

    Ticket sales may even top......Michael Jackson's come back tour:001_tt2:
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    That's a good point, actually about Health and Safety for arsonists. I might have hurt myself whilst attempting to incinerate you, Matt. How bad would that have been!!
    I would have been devastated if you had hurt yourself when trying to stick me on a bonfire, you were only trying to do what any responsible, loving parent would have done when faced with a child who had been 'contaminated with the Papist yolk' as you put it. " We are a scientology family and I won't be having any of THAT mumbo jumbo in MY house"
    Cullen wrote: Β»
    I distictly remember you smiling whilst you got your thrashings. Are you now claiming it was a grimace? A bit late, don't you think? I am sure I heard you say "Beat me, Daddy, 8 to the bar"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7pcOQoLqBM

    Damn, I can't watch youtube at work and my home computer has a virus which dies a slow death when trying to access graphics heavy sites :(
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    AdamR wrote: Β»
    I've just noticed that this is the second most replied-to thread in the Chat section. What's interesting is that probably no more than 10 posts are actually anything to do with the opener and thread title! Has another thread ever been more overun with unrelated rubbish??:laugh:

    I've said once and I'll say it again: only good things can come from me slapping Noel Edmonds

    Looking back though, it seems it was Gem who started the hi-jack - I think we should consider possible forum action on this trouble maker....
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    Matt, don't you ever listen? Huh kids, eh!

    You've completely got the wrong end of the stick. You always get confused over religious matters. I was setting you on fire because you had been watching too many Tom Cruise and John Travolta films and kept murmuring drivel about going back to the mothership.

    I was trying to show you what would have happened if we ever were to have another Spanish Inquisition, which quite frankly no one was expecting.

    Remember, that is when you decided to be an assassin monk despite your albino looks. Doh!
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor πŸ§™β€β™‚οΈ
    What? I don't listen!?!?! You've got a cheek, its you parents who don't listen - more interested in your good furniture, your soap operas, smoking jackets and swinger clubs

    I was Mary M! Not the albino monk, that would just be weird….

    I've only watched 3 TC and JT films in my life - and one of them was a softcore gay porno about fighter pilots. I was actually crying about my mothers hip, not mothership! Remember? She fell down the stairs in when she came back from a Chas and Dave concert in a drunken stupor? You recorded it ad sent it to Beadle's About? We get Β£250 and ate KFC for the next month...

    No one expects the spanish inquisition, or wants spanish flu and spanish fly doesn't work. In fact, nothing spanish is any good, if there was a country I could slap (trying to bring the thread back on track) then it would be the spaniards.
Privacy Policy