If you could....

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  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    You used to like Ronaldo! Remember? Getting me put on a United top and redden my checks? You used to chase me around the house, I'd flail my arms in the air and fall over with a resigned yet smug look on my face....

    Oh, I think she remembers all right - how could she forget?
  • CJC
    CJC Registered Posts: 1,657 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    I'm away for just two weeks and I return only to discover that in that time Gem has been off buttering bread and possibly more with other men. Maybe, just maybe, in time my heart will heal and I'll be able to face a packet of Anchor again without tears salting the unsalted.
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
    No Chris, Gem wasn't involved with buttering bread... It was something even more special every time she was around, wasn't it London:001_wub:

    And don't worry, our love triangle seems to have turned the corner - Gem ran off with Elmer Fudd:crying: Me and Matt are left reminiscing and thinking what might have been...
  • CJC
    CJC Registered Posts: 1,657 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    I guess her head was turned by the promise of wabbits. There's no competing with that :crying:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
    Yeh maybe *sighs*

    Late at night though, it hurts. Me and Matt grew so close... Worst of all we don't think Gem's happy - she earlier alluded to the fact that she wasn't over it all yet but I think all is now lost...:crying:
  • CJC
    CJC Registered Posts: 1,657 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    I guess the problems of four little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Little? LITTLE!! What has Adam been saying about me :mad2:
  • Gem7321
    Gem7321 Registered Posts: 1,438 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    I'm sorry Adam and Matt, I just couldn't get in the way of this beautiful thing which was starting between the two of you.

    And Chris, you know I only ever butter your bread :wink:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
    Gem7321 wrote: »
    And Chris, you know I only ever butter your bread :wink:

    Not what you told me the other week... Yes, I remember you saying how you would sneak off with Cullen on a Tuesday evening to get your fillings... Matt will be heartbroken when he finds out - I hope you already told him.:001_unsure:

    London - I promise it wasn't me; I would never mention your slight defects - I've never told anyone that you had to practically OD on viagra each time for example! Or that problem you had with that rash, I've never breathed a word of it!
  • Buff
    Buff Registered Posts: 275 Dedicated contributor 🦉
    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    AdamR wrote: »
    Not what you told me the other week... Yes, I remember you saying how you would sneak off with Cullen on a Tuesday evening to get your fillings... Matt will be heartbroken when he finds out - I hope you already told him.:001_unsure:
    Cullen! CULLEN!?!?! You've been off gallivanting with my student! With my daddy!?!?! I am heart broken Adam, you are right (you know me so well :001_wub:) I'm also betrayed and got that feeling that makes you go "grrrrrrr"

    If this is true Cullen, I will no longer be your Cyber Sensay Son and we will become mortal enemies….no more lessons in Walrus nut cracking, eagle cheese spreading or any other life changing, mind altering riddles. You will not be able to become a kick-ass, bad-ass like me. Instead, you'll have to rely on your charm and looks to make your way in this world - HA! Good luck with that….
    AdamR wrote: »
    London - I promise it wasn't me; I would never mention your slight defects - I've never told anyone that you had to practically OD on viagra each time for example! Or that problem you had with that rash, I've never breathed a word of it!
    Thank you Adam for being a gentlemen and not telling anyone. I always knew you could keep a secret. :thumbup1:

    And don't worry, I won't tell anyone about your unusually small 'veg' or that sixth finger coming out the side of your elbow
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    "Originally Posted by AdamR
    Not what you told me the other week... Yes, I remember you saying how you would sneak off with Cullen on a Tuesday evening to get your fillings"

    I admit it. I had aspirations in the field of dentistry. I blame it on watching Marathon Man too many times.

    I have put that episode in my life firmly behind me as has Gem.( Or Gum as we now know her)

    Sorry, London. I am a bad parent but a good grasshopper....Please forgive my transgressions, Sensay.

    (bows head in shame and sobs....)
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Hmmmm….I don't know Cullen, you have betrayed me. You have broken my heart with your dentistry escapades. Getting over the betrayal of Gem and Mr Peanut himself, AdamR, was very difficult. The pain, the lonely nights, the empty bed, the countless voodoo dolls I made of the two of them, all took its toll on me. I am now a hardened, twisted and bitter individual and I can't forgive your 'transgressions' as easily as I forgave theirs…….take to me see Bolt on Saturday, buy me a happy meal afterwards, and I consider continuing to mentor you..

    ....If not, we will remain mortal enema's and I will have my vengence, in this life or the next :angry:
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    Ok , Bolt it is, the matinee show. Is Bas Vegas convenient for you? I shall buy you a happy meal, as long as you have the salad and eat up all your vegetables..........aaargh I'm doing it again, aren't I???

    Talking of enemas, that reminds me of the time when.......oh perhaps I shall keep that story for another time.
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Cullen wrote: »
    Ok , Bolt it is, the matinee show. Is Bas Vegas convenient for you? I shall buy you a happy meal, as long as you have the salad and eat up all your vegetables..........aaargh I'm doing it again, aren't I???

    Talking of enemas, that reminds me of the time when.......oh perhaps I shall keep that story for another time.

    Have you lot stopped taking your medication......:lol::lol::lol::lol:

    Don't mean to be rude...but I cannot understand a word of what you are talking about......or is a secret code that only you know...LOL
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Cullen wrote: »
    Ok , Bolt it is, the matinee show. Is Bas Vegas convenient for you? I shall buy you a happy meal, as long as you have the salad and eat up all your vegetables..........aaargh I'm doing it again, aren't I???

    Talking of enemas, that reminds me of the time when.......oh perhaps I shall keep that story for another time.

    Bas Vegas....very classy I like it...you may just get back into my good books quicker than I thought :thumbup:

    As such, I'll give you quick lesson in bad-ass-ery. Don't let Diannew get away with suggesting you are an escaped mental patient who can only speak in code, call her an eejit in the style of Father Ted....that'll teach her :laugh:
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
    All these insults and put-downs, stolen!! I'm afraid things between us have really turned sour now - why have you lowered yourself to this level of subterfuge?:sad:

    I'd hoped we could sort this out but that is the final straw, the last iniquitous act I can take.

    I hope you are happy, you have destroyed what joy I had in my life. I shall have to run away with Dianne now and start a resistance against these unlawful ways.

    PS: MATT'S A HERMAPHRODITE!!!!

    There, it's out now and you deserved that!:001_smile:
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    LondonMatt wrote: »
    Bas Vegas....very classy I like it...you may just get back into my good books quicker than I thought :thumbup:

    As such, I'll give you quick lesson in bad-ass-ery. Don't let Diannew get away with suggesting you are an escaped mental patient who can only speak in code, call her an eejit in the style of Father Ted....that'll teach her :laugh:


    Hey you!!!!!!!!!

    I was only concerned about my fellow AAT'ers.......there are little white boxes that you can get from the chemist that you can put your daily tablets in, to stop you forgetting to take them..........because the side affects of missing the odd day are obviously apparent, by the reading of this thread... to an Ejit like me:lol::lol:
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    AdamR wrote: »
    All these insults and put-downs, stolen!! I'm afraid things between us have really turned sour now - why have you lowered yourself to this level of subterfuge?:sad:

    I'd hoped we could sort this out but that is the final straw, the last iniquitous act I can take.

    I hope you are happy, you have destroyed what joy I had in my life. I shall have to run away with Dianne now and start a resistance against these unlawful ways.

    PS: MATT'S A HERMAPHRODITE!!!!

    There, it's out now and you deserved that!:001_smile:

    Baggs are packed....meet you under the big clock at the airport........:lol::lol:
  • A-Vic
    A-Vic Registered Posts: 6,970 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Diannew wrote: »
    Baggs are packed....meet you under the big clock at the airport........:lol::lol:

    Dont forget the children (meaning me) :lol:
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    A-Vic wrote: »
    Dont forget the children (meaning me) :lol:

    You are more than welcome dear friend.......with this lot it sounds like the more the merrier:lol::lol:

    I will be the one in the nurses outfit with the straight jackets for the others....
    white van is parked around the corner:lol::lol:
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    Aren't we all hermaphrodites anyway! (we all are, aren't we, hey guys??)

    Eejitry is rife on these forums, I would like to know how many others sleep beneath a He Man quilt. You see! It's not just me, Adam and Matt, is it!

    So, Adam, you and Dianne a couple, eh? Hmmm. Will you be doing your normal kiss and tell again! Don't do to her what you did to London. He is just a wreck because of your revellations. Night after night I have walked the floor with him, consoling him, offering parental advice. All to no accord. He is so having a hissy fit. I have to take him to the pictures, Mc Donalds and then he made me promise a bouncy castle in the garden. I'd do anything to help him. All his kick ass moves remind me more of Larry Grayson than Bruce Lee.

    London Matt has lost his mojo.....................

    I worry whether he will ever get it back.
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    AdamR wrote: »
    PS: MATT'S A HERMAPHRODITE!!!!

    There, it's out now and you deserved that!:001_smile:

    Just because I have man-boobs, does not mean I'm an hermaphrodite!! :mad2: I suppose you were lying when you said you liked my moobies :crying:

    Anyway, I'd rather have some girly bits than have half a mans bit :001_tt2:
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Cullen wrote: »
    Aren't we all hermaphrodites anyway! (we all are, aren't we, hey guys??)

    Eejitry is rife on these forums, I would like to know how many others sleep beneath a He Man quilt. You see! It's not just me, Adam and Matt, is it!

    So, Adam, you and Dianne a couple, eh? Hmmm. Will you be doing your normal kiss and tell again! Don't do to her what you did to London. He is just a wreck because of your revellations. Night after night I have walked the floor with him, consoling him, offering parental advice. All to no accord. He is so having a hissy fit. I have to take him to the pictures, Mc Donalds and then he made me promise a bouncy castle in the garden. I'd do anything to help him. All his kick ass moves remind me more of Larry Grayson than Bruce Lee.

    London Matt has lost his mojo.....................

    I worry whether he will ever get it back.

    I feel sorry for you Diannew, he'll only break your heart. One word of warning though, he refuses to 'do the beast with 3 backs' as he calls it (his sixth finger is accompanied by a second back) unless he's wearing his scuba gear! Your only hope is for Yosemite Sam to come and shoot Adam in his hind quarters…..

    As you know Cullen, my dough-joe teaches a unique blend of Mr T's bad-ass-ery and Lionel Blair's dance moves, to create a lethal kung-fu mix that causes severe insults through the medium of tap dancing…..sometimes though, when performed by someone whose heart has been broken as many times as mine, it may come across as a cheap Larry Grayson impression...:blushing:

    Anyway, its hard to maintain ones Mojo when bed time is at 7 o'clock :mad2:
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    Matt you once told me that the first rule of the dough- joe was that we must never talk about the dough- joe and that is why our most meaningful communication is done through the medium of dance.

    I have one thing to say to you before you brush your teeth and climb the wooden hill to Bedfordshire:

    Hop two three step hop flick hop down. Shuffle one shuffle two shuffle three shuffle four. Hop step hop flick one two three four.

    I think you know what I mean. Are you going to tell Adam and Dianne?
  • LondonMatt
    LondonMatt Registered Posts: 1,110 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    Cullen wrote: »
    Hop two three step hop flick hop down. Shuffle one shuffle two shuffle three shuffle four. Hop step hop flick one two three four.

    I think you know what I mean. Are you going to tell Adam and Dianne?

    What, and ruin the surprise the morning after? I don't think so. I had to find out that revealing little nugget of information about Adam the hard way, I don't see why Dianne should be protected from that experience….its character building….
  • Cullen
    Cullen Registered Posts: 592 Epic contributor 🐘
    Fair enough. Dianne has a hard station ahead of her....

    Are you sure you want to see Bolt? There is another thread somewhere and everyone was raving about a thriller, set in a High School, against the backdrop of the end of year concert. I'm sure you would like it as the medium of dance, your preferred method of communication, is used and possibly some singing.

    I think it ends in the old cliched massacre whilst the school burns down: but that leaves the action hero, dressed with his school tie tied around his forehead setting up the sequel saying " I'll be back, but this time it's personal..."

    What do you reckon? Your choice, my treat.
  • AdamR
    AdamR Registered Posts: 668 Epic contributor 🐘
    LondonMatt wrote: »
    Your only hope is for Yosemite Sam to come and shoot Adam in his hind quarters…..

    I beg your pardon?! I had Elmer deposit his load into my backside the other day: one peppered behind is quite enough for me thanks!:mad2:

    Diannew wrote: »
    white van is parked around the corner:lol::lol:

    Oh good I’ve been waiting for that to pick me up since I was 8 years old! :biggrin: I hope you have a straight-jacket that fits though, I am what you might call scrawny!
    Cullen wrote: »
    So, Adam, you and Dianne a couple, eh? Hmmm. Will you be doing your normal kiss and tell again! Don't do to her what you did to London. He is just a wreck because of your revellations. Night after night I have walked the floor with him, consoling him, offering parental advice. All to no accord. He is so having a hissy fit. I have to take him to the pictures, Mc Donalds and then he made me promise a bouncy castle in the garden. I'd do anything to help him. All his kick ass moves remind me more of Larry Grayson than Bruce Lee.

    London Matt has lost his mojo.....................

    I worry whether he will ever get it back.

    Funny how no one seems to care how this has affected me… I didn’t stop crying all of yesterday!:crying:
    (That’s actually true although the cause was an eye infection!):lol:
    Cullen wrote: »
    Hop two three step hop flick hop down. Shuffle one shuffle two shuffle three shuffle four. Hop step hop flick one two three four.

    I think you know what I mean. Are you going to tell Adam and Dianne?

    I know I’m Darcy Bussell, you don’t need to tell me that, Doofus! I told Dianne as well so I don’t know what you think revealing it will change.:huh:
  • mark130273
    mark130273 Registered Posts: 4,234 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    excuse me ? did i hear that my beloved DIANNE is going to be wearing a nurses uniform !!!:tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:
  • Diannew
    Diannew Registered Posts: 2,814 Beyond epic contributor 🧙‍♂️
    mark130273 wrote: »
    excuse me ? did i hear that my beloved DIANNE is going to be wearing a nurses uniform !!!:tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:


    Sssshhhh!!! don't let the others know......as you can see by the contents of this thread they need help:lol::lol:
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